Mary Hammen

Mary Kay Gordon was born on May 31, 1948 in Detroit, Michigan to William R. Gordon and Virginia Leahy Gordon. Her family soon after moved to the Los Angeles area where she grew up. Her father was a veteran, a salesman and entrepreneur, while her mother was the Secretary/Administrative Assistant to the Wayne County Michigan Medical Society, a position which needed to be filled by four people, after she decided to move to west to pursue marriage and family life. Mary was raised in the Catholic faith, and attended Mayfield Senior Girls Catholic Preparatory School She was profoundly influenced by the positive example of the Sisters of the Society of the Holy Child Jesus that worked at the school. During a difficult time she had in early adulthood, she returned to Mayfield for a retreat that brought her comfort and a renewal of her Catholic faith. She was an avid tennis player, and was the first certified female lifeguard in Los Angeles County.

Mary decided to pursue a career in nursing, graduating with a Masters in Nursing, and went on to work at the National Institute of Health with famous oncology doctor Vincent Davita. She was one of the nurses involved in treating DaVita’s son Ted, diagnosed with aplastic anemia, using pioneering sterile environment techniques that later became the topic of the movie “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.” As an oncology nurse, she worked in top level medical institutions and had many prominent patients, including Nat King Cole. She returned to UCLA to teach nursing, and there met her to be husband Richard Hammen, a PhD in Organic Chemistry and National Champion bike racer, stylized by the sports media as “Captain America.” They were married at Carmel-By-The Sea on October 23, 1977, and celebrated their honeymoon with an epic tandem bike ride down the California Coast from Carmel to Los Angeles.

After living for 2 years in the San Francisco Bay area, where Rich worked at the Stanford Research Institute, they moved back to the Los Angeles area, where Rich took up jobs at founding Vestar (later Gilead Pharmaceutical) and was a Laboratory Director at NASA. While continuing some work in the nursing area, Mary put her main focus into raising John and Karen at their home in La Canada, California. In 1984, during a short vacation to her favorite hotel, the Ahwanhee in Yosemite National Park, Rich proposed the idea of returning to his home town of Missoula to launch a high tech business, ChromatoChem, in the biotech separations space, and raise John and Karen in the mountain country. Mary enthusiastically said “let’s do it,” and in 1986, shortly after the birth of their third child, Chris, the Hammen family moved to their long term residence in Missoula in the Rattlesnake Canyon.

While working to raise her family, and continuing some work in the nursing field, Mary’s professional focus shifted to supporting her husband Rich in growing ChromatoChem. In 1990, with the struggles of growing and financing a hi-tech business, Mary experienced a renewal in her Catholic faith through the apparitions of Mary the Mother of God to children in Medjugorge, Yugoslavia, a place of pilgrimage that has been visited by millions. At the urging of her mother Virginia, she went their in 1989, with Rich in 1990, who himself joined the Catholic Church shortly before that, and with her whole family in 1991. Mary was inspired to bring her nursing background and love for the Catholic Faith together in working to support the Pro-Life movement, through teaching Natural Family Planning courses at St. Francis Xavier Church, and counseling women in crisis pregnancy. Mary continued her love for camping and the outdoors,

and the Hammen Family would go every summer to Camp at Two Medicine Campground in Glacier National Park, perhaps Mary’s favorite place on earth. Mary and Rich did another epic tandem bike ride over Logan Pass in Glacier National Park.

In 2008, she received a Parkinson’s Diagnosis, and received a leading treatment from Stanford University which involved the placement of a DBS (Deep Brain Stimulator) unit in her brain to reduce the symptoms and slow the advancement of the Parkinson’s disease. While the disease slowly progressed, Mary maintained a high level of motivation to stay active in both her involvement with the family the family business. She developed a nutritional regime with her son John to alleviate symptoms, and enjoyed continuing to ride the tandem bike with her husband, and making many road trips to California for both medical, business, and family purposes. In November of 2024, shortly before her death, she was able to go back with her family and close friends and business associates to her beloved Ahwanhee Hotel, where so many years ago, she had agreed with her husband to launch their high tech entrepreneurial adventure in Montana, and during an evening dinner at the Ahwanhee, the pianist played a favorite song of hers “Unforgettable.”

Mary passed away on December 23, 2024, surrounded by family and close friends. Mary is survived by her husband Richard Hammen; Brothers, Will Goldstein and Ellis Gordon, Children John Hammen, Karen (James) Lee, and Chris (Katherine) Hammen; Grandchildren Logan, Isabel, and Lucus Lee: Rose, Joseph, and Gianna Hammen. Mary was preceded in death by her parents Virgina M. Gordon and William R. Gordon. We thank Mary for her love and the beautiful memories she leaves behind. Mary’s life and accomplishments influenced so many, and even in her last days at her home in Missoula where she could barely move from the effects of the Parkinsons disease, she brought a powerful and loving presence to all who came to visit her. She will be deeply missed. A Funeral Mass was held on Monday, January 6, 2024 at Christ the King Catholic Church followed by burial at St. Mary’s Cemetery.

Mary Hammen Eulogy

By John Hammen

In working on writing my Mom’s obituary, and preparing my thoughts for today, I found it can easy to be overwhelmed by my Mom’s accomplishments in life. From her work in nursing at top national research institutions, including work at the NIH that was the basis for the Hollywood movie “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble,” to nearly marrying Japanese royalty until she ended up marrying Captain America, to leading her whole family and many friends to conversion through pilgrimages to Medjugorges, to helping my Dad found a business will be the basis of transforming the world mining, environmental cleanup, and biotech separations spaces, to the wide array of prominent friends, extraordinary travels, and unique life experiences that my Mom had, she was by any measure, an accomplished person. You could call her a mover and a shaker. But what moves my heart, and I know many in this Church today, is who was the Mary Hammen behind all the accompishments, the person whom we knew and loved, whose unique personality and anointing from God became even more evident in her later years of struggling with Parkinson’s, where she couldn’t do many of the things she used to do, but in those years it became evident to those of us close to her that the call of God on her life was working in its most powerful way.

Jeremiah 1:5 says “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart, as a prophet to the nations.” As I have been reflecting on my Moms life and so many beautiful memories over the last 2 weeks since her passing, what has come to the forefront of my mind more than anything, her unique witness, is that she was the most pro-life person that I have ever met. In the first case, this can be seen in her passion for the Pro-life movement and protecting the life of the unborn. After some difficult early life experiences, my Mom developed a lifelong commitment to the pro-life movement. She combined her skills as a nurse with her Catholic faith to develop a Natural Family Planning course which she taught at St. Francis Xavier Parish. She worked to help and support many women in crisis pregnancy situations, including members of our family.

However, for my Mom, being pro-life was not just a cause she believed in and helped. It is an entire way of life, a way of being. She had an inexhaustible confidence that her life, and the lives of those around her, was full of meaning and purpose, and that purpose was worth fighting for. It was noted by many at the Vigil last night that my Mom was always trying to bring people together. She was always inviting friends to join us at our annual Two Medicine Camping trip, and we have many fond memories from those who were able to come. Her answer to almost any problem was to pray to God, and go talk to so and so, showing her conviction that by bringing together our collective gifts, and with help from the Lord, we can overcome most any obstacle. One of her favorite songs was “Climb Every Mountain,” from the Sound of Music, which she always was wanting us to sing around the campfire at Two Medicine. She said it was her High School Graduation song from Mayfield Senior Girls Catholic preparatory school, where the dedicated nuns at the school did so much to inspire her and instill the Catholic faith she had for the rest of her life. I guess it must have been a thing to sing “Climb Every Mountain” at Catholic schools in southern California, because my first grade year at St. Bedes Elementary school in La Canada California, we sang the same song for our end of the year concert. But anyway, I think she like this song because it reflected her deeper conviction that life is never a futility, and with God’s help, we can overcome whatever obstacles face us, and give God the greater glory. We used to joke how she was always running late, but I think it was that she had so much she wanted to accomplish that she could never quite fit it in on time, though with God’s help everything always seemed to work out.

Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life, and have it abundantly.” What my Mom deeply understood was that to have the abundant life, we must not just hold onto what is easy and comfortable and familiar, but we must overcome fear and set out for the depths of God’s mysterious plan for us. Jesus said “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat;r but if it dies, it produces much fruit. 

Whoever loves his life* loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.” Obtaining fruitfulness, abundance, you might say, in the Christian vision, must always involve a leaving of the one, that which is safe and comfortable and we control, indeed a daily death to self, to obtain the hundred fold. When my Dad proposed in 1983 to leave two successful well paying jobs at NASA and a rising biotech firm in southern California, to come to Missoula and start a high risk biotech company of his own, and raise his family in Montana, most wives would have said are you crazy, but my Mom said “let’s do it.” And that decision, while without it we would not be here today, has nonetheless led to many difficulties and challenges for our family. Anyone who thinks bringing a disruptive technology that can change the face of major industries to the world is not fraught with many hazards and difficulties, can think again. I asked my Mom once why she thought that most other people don’t seem to face many of the challenges we face, and I will never forget her answer, as were driving in the car together near the junction of Mount and Brooks, she said “because other people don’t try to do the things we do.” But I, and I believe also Mom, would not change it for the world, because it is in those valley experiences that you learn to draw close to God, and indeed when the mountaintops come, they are all the more glorious. I remember having another conversation once with my Mom, when we were staying together at the Stanford Guest House hotel on one of her medical trips to Stanford Hospital. She was at a point where the Parkinsons disease affected her walking, and she obviously was not completely stable in walking across the hotel room getting ready. But my Mom explained to me that the reason she kept walking on her own, rather than constantly seeking assistance, even though most people would be worried about the fall risk, was that it was more important to her to live life well than minimize risk and hold onto safety. What the saints and the martyrs and my Mom understood is that our life on earth is valuable not as something to be grasped onto, but instead continually invested to the fullest for God’s kingdom until God calls us home. I don’t think she was afraid to die, but rather she fought to maintain her strength and activity level through her long struggle with Parkinson’s out of the conviction that she wanted to accomplish all the good that God had given her opportunity to do in this life.

My Mom set an heroic pro-life example to all of us in her tireless efforts to provide care and support for my Grandparents in the later days of life. While my fathers father passed suddenly, my other three grandparents had some period of months or years of declining health where we had to make a decision as a family whether to be there for them and make sure they had the best care and quality of life possible, or to let the system take its course, almost inevitably leading to an earlier death. Inevitably this led to differences of opinion and confrontations with worldly 

medical professionals, who would say “why don’t you just give them more pain killers,” or why do you take the trouble of keeping them at home when you could just move them to a skilled facility. Our beloved friend, Eric, Dr. Treveline, was one of the very few who supported my Mom, with the hospital and medical ethics boards, to fight for the value of my grandparents lives. Not only did her efforts provide many opportunities for treasured memories with these loved ones with our family, but in the case of my Mom’s father, and Dad’s mother, provided them time to have radical conversion experiences before they passed. In the case of my grandmother Virginia, whom I believe was a living saint and seer, those precious years that my Mom worked to provide home care and support under increasingly challenging circumstances, it is hard to calculate how many graces were brought down for us through my grandmothers intercession during these last years of her life.

What is quality of life? Isn’t the answer, if we are pro-life, that every life has inherent quality because it is ordained by God. My Mom answered this question through her life, her service to pregnant women and the unborn, my elderly grandparents, and those around her, yet in her later days, this question was raised by many regarding her own life, and she gave the answer with her own witness. I was given the immense privilege of my life of being the one who was closest to her during many parts the journey through her later years of life. Mom and I would hang out a lot. I would go over there most nights to bring her her nutritional supplements. In many ways it was a hassle for her, to have to drink these vitamin smoothie drinks and pills, to walk up and down the stairs when she was spending most of her time in the bedroom. But yet, she would wait eagerly, give me phone calls if I was running late with work, and make that effort to walk up the stairs even if she was tired, because she valued our time together. She valued the chance to make an effort to maintain her health, even if it required some discomfort, because her time to be for others was very valuable to her. This is the opposite of the prevailing mentality in so many professional care facilities of “keep them comfortable, even if they are out of it.” Thankfully, my Mom did not experience too much pain, until her last few months, when she developed a serious bed sore wound, which was quite painful. But for a person as talkative as her, how frustrating it would be that she couldn’t say more. I’m sure she had much to say. But we would just spend time. I would ride the bike, or we would just watch Fox News or Christian podcasts together, as I would help her take her pills. We would talk a little bit. It required effort for her, and she couldn’t always do it, but every word that she could get out that I could understand was valuable to me.

My Mom and I had many adventures. She was a patient at Stanford University where she had a Deep Brain Stimulator put in, a leading treatment for Parkinsons disease which greatly helped with the symptoms and progression of the diseases. We had to make periodic visits to Stanford to continue to monitor her Parkinsons and DBS treatment, as well as other treatments. Many would think that it would be a terrible trouble for a lady who had difficulty moving to get into a van and drive 17 hours to California for medical treatments, but my Mom would always look forward to the adventure. She would always ask me if we had an upcoming trip to California soon. She loved the outdoors, and the many different routes we would take, and different business meetings I would have, and places we would stop and stay along the way, gave her a chance to experience so much of the beauty of the western United States. Sometimes, I’d have business trips to the Anaheim area, and I would spend a day and take her to the Disneyland parks. We would go around the park, enjoying the restaurants, and yes, she would make the effort to get up and get on the rides with me, even Big Thunder Mountain, which I think scared her a bit, but she was a good sport about it. She was exhausted at the end of the day, a lot for an old lady with advanced Parkinsons, but she loved it, because she loved the time, she loved me, and she loved being a part of the beautiful world that God has created. I’m sure a lot of people looked at us and thought we were half crazy trying to bring a very handicapped lady around the parks, but we didn’t mind. Paul says of Christ, “that for the joy set before Him, he endured the cross, despising the shame.” Some would say to me “isn’t it nice the things you do for your Mom.” But what has sunk in for me more than ever these last couple weeks, is that in this journey, my Mom did far more for me than I ever could for her. She communicated so much, particularly when she couldn’t communicate at all. I had the privilege during her last few months of life when she was on hospice and then palliative care, to move back temporarily to live with my parents at their house to spend more time helping with the care. She was up in the family room on her hospital bed, and we’d help her walk to the chair for some hours in the day. There were so many memories that I treasure form that time, but one that keeps on coming back is late nights, I would be upstairs, and I’d often turn on Gregorian Chant on the family room TV for her to fall asleep to, but the soothing melodies would permeate the house, and I’d walk down there periodically, in the wee hours of the morning just to kiss her or pray over her, and her presence, a holy loving presence, would just permeate the room. My Dad, Eric, Natalie and Rowell also had the opportunity to be in her presence a lot during those last months, and I am so grateful for them for what they did, and I know we are all grateful to God for what she did for us.

My Mom was always passionate about the causes she fought for, enjoying the people, places and things she loved, and most of all, always fnding time to pray and bring God into the circumstances of her life. But the mystery that was unfolded in the later days of her life, when she was able to do fewer of those things, and that which she did with greater difficulty, that it was never about the ability to do things that was most important to her, but rather a posture of the heart. God does not will or cause evil or disease, and He did not will my Mom to have Parkinsons. But in the mystery of His providence, in a world beset with sin and many evils, He can use even the effects of those evils to bring about greater victory. We began the Mass with the song Eagles Wings. I suggested it as one of the songs because it is the one liturgical song that my Mom told me on multiple occasions that she really liked, and ministered to her at some difficult junctures in her life. But it is interesting how songs that we cling to, particularly those with religious themes, can speak prophetically over our life. The song Eagles wings is drawn mostly from Psalm 91, a Psalm of David that speaks of God’s loving care and protection over our lives, which my Mom certainly experienced. But the key line, the beginning of the chorus, and the namesake of the song, and “he will raise you up on Eagles wings,” does not come from Psalm 91, but actually from the 40th chapter of the Prophet Isaiah. Context is everything. This prophecy was given to King Hezekiah during some of the darkest hours of Israel’s history. The southern kingdom of Judah and the city of Jerusalem was facing siege from the mighty Assyrian Army, the world power of those times. It seemed to be an unstoppable force of evil. The Assyrians were known for their highly sophisticated use of not only military prowess, but engineering ingenious methods of attack and psychological terror, to which has been studied even by twentieth century tyrants like Hitler and Stalin, to terrorize and subdue their opponents into submission. They had swept across that part of the world, from Turkey to India, and the northern kingdom of Israel, under and idolatrous King Hoshea, had also fallen, after three hard fought years. But Judah was under King Hezekiah, and good King who trusted in God, and they were trusting God to hold up under the siege. To understand the horrors that took place during those two years, which we know not only from the Scripture and other historians such as Josephus and Heroditus, it suffices to say that the primary source material for many of the details the Battle of Minas Tirith in Tolkeins Return of the King, was drawn from the Battle of Jerusalem under Hezekiah. Jerusalem was under siege for months, years on end, supplies had run out, desperation had set in, and to terrorize the people further, the Assyrians surrounded the city with thousands of dead impaled on poles. Why not just give up on God, surrender, take the easy way out. Sennacherib, the king of the Assyrians, even promised them lands and vineyards in Assyria, if they just gave up their homeland of Judah, because the devil did not so much care about stealing their life or their prosperity, but their identity, their destiny, and their mission to be the chosen people and bring the Messiah into the world. To add to the psychological terror, the Assytrians brought in giant Himalayan Eagles, which they would tie large rocks to their feet. The Assyrian captains would wrap their legs with letter thongs that they would tie to their hands, and run and launch hundreds of the eagles with speed off ramparts to fly over Jerusalem, and give horrifying screeches like Tolkiens Nazgul as they crashed the rocks into walls and people with their rocks, wrecking destruction and terror. They could fly with great speed, because when they ran short on oxygen, they could expand their wings, and mount up naturally to gain height and reoxygenate their lungs and come in for attack. The terror was everywhere, and King Hezekiah was losing hope. And he sent for the prophet Isaiah, who was his closest counselor and consoler, who brought him the word and inspiration of the Lord in those difficult days. But it was in the midst of that darkness, that the prophet Isaiah brought one of the most beautiful and inspiring passages in all of Sciptures. In a time when it seemed that strength and life and hope had run out, Isaiah reminded him that our God is an everlasting God, who will give us strength greater than youth. The very instrument of the devil, which was used to terrifying the people, he used as a sign of God’s providential love, if we will bind ourselves to him, a more accurate translation than “wait,” like the Assyrians bound the leather cords to the wings of the eagles, then we will mount up with renewed strength like the eagle, with strength we did not know we had. For Isaiah said 

Why, O Jacob, do you say,*

and declare, O Israel,

“My way is hidden from the LORD,

and my right is disregarded by my God”?

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The LORD our God is the everlasting God,

creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary,

and his knowledge is beyond scrutiny.

He gives power to the faint,

abundant strength to the weak.

Though young men faint and grow weary,

and youths stagger and fall,

They that hope in the LORD will renew their strength,

they will soar on eagles’ wings;

They will run and not grow weary,

walk and not grow faint.

The ways of God are mysterious, but he never lets us down. Shortly after this prophecy was given, almost all of the Assyrian army died in a night, an event recorded not only by the Bible, but other Scriptures, and Jerusalem was liberated. Jewish scholars says it was the direct action of the Archangels Michael and Gabriel and the Seraphim order which brought the victory, and I don’t doubt it. Many times, over the last number of years, it would look like my Mom’s strength was failing, and she was going to decline rapidly, but inexplicably, seemingly miraculously she would bounce back, and have months and even years of improvement. She bound herself tightly to the Lord, and many times, she mounted up with wings of eagles, and God used the darkness of her struggle to bring all of us greater faith and joy. But in her passing right before Christmas, she has found an even higher level. She no longer has the limitations that Parkinsons put upon her. A seer who once worked with our family said that my Mom was the Intercessor. And anyone who knows my Mom, knows she is like the Blessed Mother in the Scripture, who is never afraid to ask a favor, especially from God, for the ones she loves. It is I believe, no coincidence at all that my family’s mission has gone to the next level just at her passing, because we will need her intercession from above in the times ahead. She was a mover and shaker in this life, and we expect her to be all the more so ruling with Christ her King from the heavenly realms. Mom, we love you, we need you, we pray for you as we know you pray for us. And tell Jesus thank you for all the gifts he has given us through you.