LaVonne J. Diemer

On Feb. 2, 2015, one day before our mother, LaVonne Diemer, turned 87 years old, she told her daughter, Anne, it is time for me to go home, and several hours later passed away in her sleep.

Anne and her husband, Charlie, moved to Missoula when our father was ill. Charlie helped Mom see Dad through his final days. Newly graduated from nursing school and launching into a second career, Charlie found a job in Missoula, which allowed Anne to resign her position and stay home with mother.

We remember Mom fondly, and recall that her passive demeanor was misleading and often surprised our friends, many of whom adopted her as a second mother. She was rock-solid, unflappable and accepted us for who we were. She did not have much tolerance for manipulation or argument, assuming that she had taught us well enough to understand the meaning of no the first time, and we would not need further clarification.

Her attributes served her well in her 30-year teaching career. She listened to her students, expected the very best from each of them, believed in their abilities, and demanded their best as she gave hers.

Long after retirement, she reveled in telling stories from the classroom and speculated on the outcome of her efforts. Though not always aware of or witness to the effect she had on her students' lives, one incident trumped all others, indicative of the success of her teaching methodology. She was in the shopping mall with Dad when a group of middle-school boys spotted her. One of the boys, a former elementary student of hers, fell out from his friends, came over to Mom and hugged her. In front of his friends, she exclaimed. Testimony to the deep and enduring relationship she developed with her students.

Mom prided herself on allowing her children to take off into the world, that she did not demand we meet her expectations for lifestyle and career choice, and spoke proudly of each of us. Anne, account executive, seamstress extraordinaire, gardener, mother of gorgeous Sarah, and ultimately, her caregiver; Jeanne, archaeologist, gardener, mother of beautiful daughters, Suhashini and Tara, and unwavering in her pursuit to find the most difficult crossword puzzles to share with mom; David, creator of 30-plus flavors of sausage, manager of five departments at Pattee Creek Market, father to wonderful sons, Curtis and Ben (Janis), and available 24/7 during our parents' declining years; and Gretchen, teacher and poet, mother of Alaska dog musher, Jeffrey (KattiJo), beautiful daughter, Tanya (Chris), and constant source of teaching tales. Also her beloved four-legged companions, Suzie, FiFi, Tommy and Boomer.

Mom and Dad were with the Missoula Farmers Market from the beginning, becoming known for their flowers. Mom identified her customers by the flowers they liked and often referred to them by the flower's name.

To say we will miss our mother is an understatement. When I say that we wish she were here, I can only answer as she often did with us when we were young, and that is in rhyme:

If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride, if turnips were watches,

I would wear one by my side.

– Traditional English Rhyme, published 1605

LaVonne was born in Manchester, Iowa, on Feb. 3, 1928, to Meta and Gerd Heiken and moved to Rhinelander, Wisconsin, after her marriage to Eugene Diemer. They left Wisconsin for Spokane in 1964, moved to Helena in 1966 and settled in Missoula in 1973.

LaVonne was preceded in death by her husband, Eugene; her son-in-law, Eric Deeter; and her daughter-in-law, Teresa Diemer. She is survived by daughters, Gretchen Diemer of Wasilla, Alaska, Anne Diemer and Charlie Ernst of Missoula and Jeanne Nijhowne of Boulder, Colorado; son, David Diemer of Missoula; seven grandchildren; and eight great-grandchildren.

A memorial service will be held at St. Paul Lutheran Church at 1 p.m. Friday, Feb. 13, with a reception following.
Read LaVonne Diemer's Obituary and Guestbook on www.missoulafuneralhomes.com.