Laura Gena Tolina Ottes Graff

Our sweet Norwegian mom died of natural causes on Monday, Nov. 25, 2013, at The Springs. She arrived in this world, the second surviving daughter of Renie (Stenerson) and Theobald Ottes, in Marion, N.D., on Feb. 8, 1914, and left us, albeit reluctantly, so many years later at age 99! Being born into a poor immigrant family in the early 20th century, she had no expectations of entitlement, education or success, yet she ended up leading a busy, productive and rewarding life that was full of accomplishment. Even though her life at times was filled with frustration, adversity and hardship, she never focused on these, rather she was always cheerful, positive and optimistic. In her own words: "Life is good, and I thank God for the chance to live and for all of the wonderful experiences that have been mine. I only hope that my life will make a small contribution in some way to the world to show my gratitude for all the blessings that have been mine."

There are so many wonderful and wondrous tales that we could (and want to) share to memorialize our dear mother. For the most part, mom grew up and attended school in Marion.

During the Depression, she worked first as a seamstress and then in a creamery in Jamestown, N.D. While doing this, she met a handsome driver who had a milk route. They married in 1940 despite the opposition of the families. Mom was, after all, Norwegian and dad German. After getting married, Mom had to quit her job at the creamery (married women didn't work!). Their oldest son David Thomas was born while they lived at Dad's parents' house. When Dad then was called into the ministry, Mom of course quite happily followed him. However, their first church in Hebron, N.D., was a German church, so Dad preached in German, while Mom patiently sat in the congregation not understanding a word.

Soon, they decided to move to Montana, and Dad accepted a parish in Livingston. They fell in love with the mountains, forests and trout streams – paradise on Earth for them. Mark Timothy joined the family in Livingston. One of Mom's most memorable feats was insisting on keeping her Down syndrome son at home with her – at a time when institutionalization was recommended and the common practice. In 1946, Dad moved the family to Oregon City, Ore., where Jonathan Livingston was born. The family soon returned to Montana, where Dad and Mom served a church in Great Falls. However, after one year there, Dad then took an Italian mission church in Kenosha, Wis., so that he could commute to seminary at Northwestern University. After he earned his theological degree in 1951, the family moved back to beloved Montana, to Columbus, where daughter Elizabeth Ann was born. Just before Thanksgiving in 1954, Dad contracted polio, and Mom made the often dangerous, often snowy 40-mile drive to Billings every day to visit and care for him. Despite the doctors' dire predictions, he recovered. We're all convinced it was in large part due to our mother's love and devotion!

In 1956, Dad asked the conference to send him to Missoula to pastor because it had a university and was the only city in Montana at the time with an Opportunity School (precursor to Opportunity Resources), where Mom became an active board member. After Liz started kindergarten, she took advantage of being in a university town and, at age 45, started at the university. She often claimed that she was able to write her term papers only because she had to get up in the middle of the night to rouse son Tom for the early morning paper route. We were all so proud of her when she graduated with her degree in English at age 51, the same year that son Jon graduated from high school. Soon after, she was offered the librarian position at Franklin grade school, where she worked – this time for pay – until her retirement in 1979.

Her professional job was just a small part of her busy life. Being a minister's wife in those days meant that she attended every service, almost every meeting; was in charge of the Youth Fellowship; as church secretary, typed and mimeographed the bulletin for Sunday services; was part-time church pianist; made Sunday dinner for unexpected guests; and was hostess for the missionaries and evangelists who were regular house guests. We're sure the responsibilities seemed endless to Mom, but we never heard her complain. Most importantly, she was an absolutely dedicated mother – and wife. She was the family peacemaker. Mom was the most tolerant, loving and accepting person we have ever met.

Despite her very full schedule, she always made time to go to our school activities and sports events. She never missed anything that was important to her children – and later, her grandchildren. Mom never got enough sleep and was known for her power naps. Fifteen minutes at lunch would keep her going for hours! In her later years, she joked about how many naps a day she took – she undoubtedly was catching up from those many years lacking sleep.

Highlights in her life were her visits to Europe to visit Liz (1974, 1977, 1979, 1985 and 1992). She also made a point of visiting her daughter wherever she lived in the U.S. She always wanted to see how her children lived. Her visits were always enlightening, full of family lore and history, as well as being full of fun and laughter.

She was preceded in death by her husband, David; sister, Gladys Clemens; and her son, Mark Timothy. She is mourned by her sons, Tom (Jo Greathouse) and Jon (Kathy); daughter, Liz Ametsbichler (Mark Gahagan); Tom's sons, Sean (Kirstin Scott) and Keir (Marya); Jon's children, Shane (Haili) and Jessica; and seven great-grandchildren, Wilhelmina and Oscar, Felix and Cosmo, Jonah and Arya, and Dahlia. She is also survived by her brother, Ron.

Mom was well-taken care of at The Springs, and we want to express our sincere thanks and gratitude to the caring staff members who were so gentle and kind to her. We also thank Partners Hospice for their careful attention to our sweet mother. We suggest donations in her memory to the Center for Music by People with Disabilities (c/o Devan Kartha, 415 W. Central Ave., Missoula, MT 59801) and to Partners Hospice (Partners in Home Care, 2687 Palmer St., Suite B., Missoula, MT 59808).

Public viewing is at Garden City Funeral Home on Monday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. The family will be there to greet friends and relatives from 4 to 6 p.m. Funeral services will be held at Garden City Funeral Home on Tuesday, Dec. 3, at 1 p.m. with a reception to follow.

We will always remember Mom for her Christian faith, her patience, her sense of humor, and her total tolerance of all of us and our escapades, which must have caused some of her premature graying! Even in her last years, when dementia took much of her memory, she still kept her sense of humor and good-natured ways. She was always kind and gracious, to the very end. Rest in peace, dear Norwegian mother. We will miss you and your radiance terribly. You were a saint

Read Laura Graff's Obituary and Guestbook on www.missoulafuneralhomes.com.